Weddings on Boats

We had a SUPER wedding last Friday - friends of the groom arranged a small launch to take us into NY Harbor with a view of the Statue of Liberty, and we performed the wedding at sunset in the tiny back of the boat. Quite memorable (if rather rocky!) A few warnings: You need permission to get close to the SofL, so a chartered boat or registered harbor cruise is a good choice. Also: you can have the CEREMONY ITSELF on a boat (including a public boat like the Staten Island Ferry or any other ferry), but you must officially SIGN THE LICENSE on terra firma, with a real street address. You must be in NY for a NY license, not New Jersey. The same goes for weddings on bridges, hot air balloons, or anything where your feet are not on a real NY intersection. Alternatively, consider holding the ceremony FIRST on the docks, perhaps, or a restaurant with a water view, and then embarking on your wedding cruise and reception. Bon Voyage!

Size guidelines for outdoor wedding locations 10 - 100 people

We have had a number of people enquire about holding LARGE family wedding (50+) in spots which are more appropriate for eloping. Please understand that most small venues CANNOT hold large groups, as they cannot see and hear, and may impede traffic.

Here are some size guidelines for popular spots

Brooklyn Bridge: Optimal size is 8 people. You could go up to a dozen, but that's getting crowded. The bridge is a pedestrian walkway, and cannot accommodate large groups.
Shakespeare Garden, or Ladies pavilion: Best for under 12 people. The garden is quite small and has overhanging trees and a sloping floor. 8 people is best. The ladies pavilion can hold 8-10 people inside, with a few more gathered outside. Avoid Saturdays in good weather, as the cheesy folk singer with the amplifier sings bad John Denver songs all day which can be overheard in the pavilion.
Viewing Platform, Prospect Park: 10 people
Top of the Rock, Rockefeller Center: 4-6 people (each must pay $18 admission)
Merchant's House Museum garden: 10-20 people is best
Wagner Park, under the arch (Battery Park). About 20, don't impede pedestrians.
Fulton Ferry Landing: Best for 12 - 30 people in a group, or stretch it a bit to 40.

Larger spaces, for more guests:
Cop Cot: (59th street) Can hold 50 people, a little crowded. Better for 30-40, max.
The Obelisk or Cherry Hill, Central Park: 20-100 people
Bethesda Fountain: 20-100 (but avoid busy Saturdays in good weather because of the break dancers)
Quaker Hill, Nethermead, Prospect park. up to 100
Madison Park, Flatiron district: can hold up to 80 or more by the fountain, but 40 is better.

Note: The Vale of Cashmir in Prospect Park is being redeveloped, they have drained the ponds and turned off the fountain and it's looking very seedy and abandoned. If you like ruins at sunset, it's your place. But the mosquitoes were pretty bad last evening. 12-24 people is about max.

Private dining rooms as wedding locations

We are frequently asked for suggestions for a private wedding and a romantic dinner in a private dining room in NY.

This may be suitable for a small group - but not generally for an eloping couple. I'd recommend a ceremony in your hotel room and a private dinner in your room (with waiter service). We did this at the Hilton, and it was very lovely.

However, here are a few ideas. I don't have any connection to these places - though I've held events in some of them, but for those who have deep pockets, a small intimate wedding in a private dining room may be attractive. Of course a restaurant may require a minimum number of guests, as is the case with the Rainbow Rooms, Tavern on the Green, etc. When enquiring, we suggest you do not mention "WEDDING" until you have secured a price - The term "private event" is perhaps more suitable than the loaded term "wedding", as a restaurant may assume you are planning a fancier event, (videographers, flower petals, candles, chuppah) instead of our simple civil weddings, which are very short and low-key and usually simply involve the couple and/or guests standing quietly for a few minutes in the room (and then champagne, of course!)

Here are some random choices - these are simply private rooms, and may have minimum guest numbers or charges. For instance, the Ayza Lounge room can hold up to 80, but requires a deposit of 1800 and a minimum net charge of $3600. Remember, "private" may mean up to hundreds of guests - it doesn't mean intimate.

Private dinner for 2 in the wine vault at PhilipMarie in the village.
18th century dining rooms at Bayard's, Wall Street, nice atmosphere. Fireplace room for 12.
The private dining room at MOMA ($$$)
Primitivo Osteria A simple Italian in Chelsea. Not fancy. But they have a room for 15.
A not-so-simple room, the private dining room at Gramercy Tavern. Seats 22.
And another favorite high-end place, Del Posto, starts at 20 people.
Theoretically, TantiBaci in the village has a small little room in the back for romantic dinners. Many other restaurants have nooks and crannies - you probably just have to wander into a few places and look around until you find something you like. Just ASK if they have private dining.

You can also bet on well-loved NY institutions for private occasions: - Tavern on the Green, Cafe des Artistes (parlor), One if by Land, Two if by sea (not really private, but romantic). Keen's steakhouse has private rooms we have used for weddings, and so do many Irish pubs - which sometimes have surprisingly good menus. We have used many little restaurants in Brooklyn which have small back gardens and upstairs lofts. Restaurants are used to hosting birthday parties and anniversaries and meetings - a wedding is the same, really.

Union at Union: Rented Religious Sites for weddings

Here's an update to our earlier discussion of wedding chapels. If you'd like a peaceful, quasi-religious setting for your wedding, but don't have a home church, there are some non-profit places you can look at in New York.

The quadrangle, chapel, refectory and meeting rooms at Union Theological Seminary at Columbia are available for weddings. The prices are reasonable, compared to other sites, and the setting is just lovely.

You can also rent the wood-paneled/stained glass Ceremonial Hall at the New York Society for Ethical Culture, as well as other rooms, and there are lovely facilities at the Brooklyn Society for Ethical Culture, right on Prospect Park. I like the garden.

Unitarian Churches in New York City (and other cities!) also rent their spaces, and some are quite unique. I like the Community Church on E 35th (over by the Morgan Library)and you can stay in the wonderful historic Guest Rooms. I also like the All Souls chapel at 80th on the UES. The rates have been raised, however.

You can rent Riverside Church (at least part of it), and there are small chapels for rent, from 12-135 people, plus reception spaces as well.

New York traffic - getting to the wedding on time

New York is a laid out on a grid. Most of the time, you will be moving directly North/South, East/West (except for the older parts of the city down by Wall Street and Greenwich village, where things still wind around upon themselves). It's important to get oriented in the city, and understand commuting times. You also need to get a sense of scale. People often ask us if they should take a taxi from the Ladies Pavilion or Strawberry Fields in Central Park to the Tavern on the Green. No, it's a simple and pleasant stroll. Central Park IS the size of Monaco - but you rarely walk the whole park. You can cross it in 10-12 minutes.

Most of the time, you will be calculating the distance up or down or East and West from the center of the city (Midtown, 42-57 street) and 5th Avenue which demarcates East and West. In many cases, it is MUCH easier and quicker to walk than to take the subway, and usually much faster to walk/subway than taking a taxi. There are many taxi jokes in NY movies, and the Die Harder movie with Bruce Willis is my favourite. They commandeer a taxi, and his partner says - "Are you crazy - how can you get across town at rush hour?" so Bruce simply drives the taxi up on the grass in Central Park and cuts through.

North/South blocks in Manhattan are very short - there are 20 of them to the mile. They are mostly numbered streets - 42nd Street, etc. The numbers increase as you go north. East/West blocks are long, so 5th Avenue to 6th Avenue takes twice as long to walk as 41st to 46th street. The algorithm to find a NY address is simple, it is found in any telephone directory, and here is one Manhattan Street locator, and here is another. Use Googlemaps for walking, and Hopstop.com for subway directions. Google now has subway directions (in beta).

Terra firma and flights of fancy

Can you be married in a hot air balloon? (I just got a phone call about this - before you all rush to Central Park to get married this week, all the appointments are booked).
Can you be married in a helicopter?
Can you be married on Liberty Island? or the Staten Island ferry?

Yes -- and no. You can have the wedding ceremony all of these places - but you must SIGN the license in a specific location ON THE GROUND. NY requires a street address for the wedding location. So get out of the balloon gondola, and go over and sign the license on a park bench, with the address 72nd Street and Central Park West -- or the closest intersection. Get out of the helicopter and sign the license at the street nearest the helipad. Get off the ferry and sign the license EITHER on the Staten Island end, or the Manhattan end. Come back from Liberty island and sign the license in Battery park (near a street intersection). You'll always have your memories of saying your vows 500 feet over Central Park - and then signing the legal bits with your wobbly feet back on the ground.

Brooklyn Bridge - Fulton State Park wedding permits now OPEN

SEE OUR OTHER POSTS ON THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ALL THESE PARKS

The Brooklyn Bridge Park Conservancy (Empire Fulton Ferry State Park, or EFFSP) have just opened their online permit application for SMALL low-impact (under 50 people max) weddings under the bridge on the new pier. Get in FAST. But remember, it's REALLY expensive. The cheapest is the Boardwalk for 90 minutes for $500 for up to 50 people. You can download a PDF with the price list from the link below. For smaller budgets, try the Brooklyn Bridge Park, the Fulton Ferry landing, the Promenade, etc. (Or just the bridge, for a half-dozen people).

Brooklyn Bridge Conservancy Wedding Permits

"There are three locations for ceremonies in the park: The South Lawn (big lawn in front of the Tobacco Warehouse), the North Boardwalk, and the South Boardwalk. The South Lawn can hold up to 100 people, but only a very limited set up is permitted. Both the North and South Boardwalk can hold up to 150 people and have no restrictions for the set up. The North Boardwalk is the area closer to the Manhattan Bridge, near the picnic tables, and is very spacious. The South Boardwalk is closer to the Brooklyn Bridge, located at the very end of the Park and allows for more privacy."
For all private events (picnics, weddings, photography), please contact Sam Wasko at (718) 802-0603 x14.

Remember, there are all those EVENTS scheduled all the time which are busy and noisy and will interrupt your wedding.

Changing your name: Practical Steps

If eloping is a sudden decision, and you haven't had time to think deeply about changing your surname, we suggest you do NOT change your name on the marriage license, and leave this decision to a later date, perhaps if children arrive. You may always change your name in the future, but you cannot go back and change your marriage license, if you decide that you really didn't want to be Mrs. Rutabaga-Sauerkraut, but were happier staying Ms. Turnip.

Here is the original post with a discussion of whether you should change your name, and how to do it in New York.

If you DO change your name, here are some links to change your official documents:

Social Security form (PDF)
DMV office locations in NY.
[You have to visit the DMV in person, and bring your marriage license]
Passport Office
[You have to send your marriage license and passport - so if you're traveling for your honeymoon, book the travel in your maiden name].

Also change:

Credit Cards
Bank Accounts
Lease, Mortgage
Utility Bills
Insurance
Health Care
Post Office
Wills
Voter registration
Professional associations, memberships

Central Park weddings: Event Calendar

Don't forget to check the Central Park Event Calendar when planning a park wedding. On Saturday, the free Bon Jovi concert starts at 8 - 60,000 people on the Great Lawn. But they're letting them IN starting at 2pm. We're having a small wedding at 11 - and plan to be long gone.

Always watch for the marathons, the 1/2 marathons, the walks, the concerts -- the parades and holiday celebrations - it makes for delays with your taxis, crowds, and of course concert noise. It's a big park, so you can always get away and find room, but it's best to be aware of what else is happening.

UPDATE: So the park was frozen (locked down) at 4am. When we got there, the cattle gates were up from 86-59. Always be very nice to NY cops - you never know! We chatted with the men on gate duty, explained that the bride and groom's parents were coming from Tokyo, and that we had the location booked. They were very sympathetic, asked their super, who thought it was romantic, and they sneaked us in the barrier, and we had a great wedding in the Shakespeare garden - completely private. They posed with the wedding party, one of the cops asked me if I'd renew his wedding vows, and all the cops along the root shouted 'congratulations' as we left. They were also mad, because this was an unscheduled event, and they had to work double shifts. And somehow, everybody in NY loves weddings - we've had lots of cooperation through the years from strangers. Give it a try.

Planning ahead: Should you book a spot in Central Park?

Here is the Shakespeare Garden in spring.

Central Park (and other City Parks) only accept reservations within 30 days. Here is the online link to book a spot in the park. If you have enough time, here is how to decide whether to book a specific part of the park for a wedding:

1) If it is a busy Saturday - try to book your spot a month ahead. The permits are $25. Your permit will allow you to wave it at other couples (and photographers) who have chosen the same location for their event. Unlike the Conservatory Garden, which is private and has more staff, there will probably not be a ranger or park employee around to ask other people to move - but you can show your permit to anyone who is occupying the space, and take possession of it for your ceremony.

2) If you are a big group, e.g., a family group of over 20, especially if they are arriving in the park from different directions and travel, parking and transit may be a problem, consider booking. You can get there early, clean up the hamburger wrappers, and check out the environment. Note: if people are using the space, for a picnic, or reading, or resting, inform them politely that you have the area booked for a wedding at a specific time. Be nice. People will always cooperate, if you give them time to move on. Please don't be abrupt or ask them to move TOO LONG before the actual ceremony - they'll be happy to leave when it looks like something is really happening. You don't need to show your permit unless questioned.

3) For an elopement with a small group of witnesses -- especially on a non-peak time, it's sometimes better to have a couple of spots in mind, to meet at a gate, and just wander into the park with your officiant and guests, and find your perfect space. Remember, all the BIG spots are VERY POPULAR - and full of people. So Strawberry Fields, the Castle, the Bethesda Fountain, Bow Bridge, the Ladies Pavilion, will more than likely have people in them. Sometimes it's better to find a spot LOOKING at Bow Bridge (from the little island over the bridge, perhaps) or somewhere above the ramble in the northern area, and be more private.

Central Park is bigger than Monaco. You can always find a spot.

Iowa Floods - lite posting

I am visiting family in Cedar Rapids, in the floods. Please excuse lite posting.

Impromptu Wedding Locations

Well, if it's only 4-6 of you - you can really truly set out and DECIDE where you want to be married as you go. You need the couple, the officiant, at least ONE witness (the photographer will do, or your two best friends), walking shoes and a nice day.

With Marriage License in hand, agree to meet in the general location: at one of the gates to Central Park (lower, middle or upper park, East or West side), or somewhere on the Brooklyn Promenade, at Riverside Park by Columbia, down on the Waterfront at Battery Park, or on the Hudson promenade/park, on the Red Hook waterfront, at the approach to the Brooklyn Bridge, outside the marriage bureau at 1 Centre Street (head towards City Hall park, probably), and then wander. Central Park is the most fun, but other waterfront areas are also rewarding - despite the fact that so much development has blocked off some of the grittier little beaches and secret places. City Island is mostly paved over, though Pelham Park is vast, and has secret areas. The Highline is no longer the weedy oasis of lost days, and DUMBO is just too cool for school. Highbridge park, though that's still possible - but some of it is closed off ...

But you could hire a carriage, get out and feed the horse a carrot, and pick your spot. You could rent a boat on the lake in Central Park and row yourselves to a quiet nook. You could wander over the Brooklyn Bridge until you find a corner less packed with tourists (or just wait until they pass by). You could go have dinner in a nice little restaurant (esp. with a little garden in the back) order a nice bottle of wine, stand up and .... get married.

You could ride the wonder wheel at Coney Island and say "I do" when it gets to the top and swings back and forth (not recommended, I just wanted to see if you were listening). Get OFF the Wonder Wheel and walk down towards Manhattan Beach and find a nice place by the breakers. Get on the LIRR to Long Beach and walk to the dunes. Or rent a kayak, or go ice skating or roller skating in summer -- you can't ride horses in Central Park any more -- (though the neglected Kensington Stables near Prospect Park offers an option).

Other ideas - Madison Park, by the fountain (in front of the Flatiron building). Avoid the Shake Shack. Wagner Park (by Battery Park City), beautiful view of the Statue of Liberty, also Bowling Green. City Hall park by the Fountain. The boardwalk at the Seaport, with the view of the Brooklyn Bridge and the tall ships.

You could spend the 24 hours after you obtain your license just walking about the city, a good New York tradition. Find a small cafe, find a small park -- And get married. Have fun!

Wedding Chapels in New York

It's difficult to find a reasonable 'wedding chapel' for rent in NY. Some churches will rent out their chapels for weddings for outsiders, but the fees vary enormously. Note that some churches are willing to rent chapels for a non-denominational service, but some require you are married by the church's own clergy.

Here's a little bit from the Locations section of our website:

We have conducted weddings at the Chapel at Columbia University, and at the New York Society for Ethical Culture, and in the chapel, meeting hall of Riverside Church. College and University chapels often require advance paperwork, and some are only available to alumni/students - please ask when booking.

The pretty chapel at All Souls Unitarian Church is available for a modest rental fee. The chapel is in the 'congregational/ new england' style. It is at Lexington and 79th, on the Upper East Side. They say:

"To help cover operating costs during times when normal church activities are not taking place, many spaces are for rent". To enquire about the small chapel, see
allsoulsnyc.org

The Seaman's Church Institute on the waterfront has a Frank Lloyd Wright designed chapel which is available for rental.

The Masonic Temple at 23th and 7th has just begun to offer their themed chapels for weddings. Each floor has a different theme (Gothic, French, Tudor, American). They are quite remarkable, though they have no windows, in Masonic tradition - I found them rather creepy, actually. They'll give you a free tour.

We use the interdenominational chapel at Church House 777 UN plaza, which is suitable for 25-150 people. It's across from the United Nations. Send me an email if you wish contact info for the booking office.

It never hurts to pop into a local church, and ask if they rent their chapel. Many churches do not advertise online, and you may find a treasure, for a donation. Several people have managed to book small churches by simply asking if a donation would be acceptable. If you do discover somewhere pretty and friendly, let us know!
One idea is to look on eventective.com
and on gatheringguide.com to see if churches are advertising their chapels for rentals. My favorite is the Actor's Church, the church of the transfiguration littlechurch.org/, but it is not clear whether the chapel is available for rental - churches often simply advertise their meeting rooms for events.

Also see the list on this page of Non Profit centers - not necessary chapels, but some meeting rooms which might also work for you.

Good luck location-shopping!

Weddings on the Brooklyn Bridge must be SMALL

Light posting - lots of weddings right now. (And the subway is a MESS this weekend). But someone wrote to ask if they could have a wedding for 100 people on the Brooklyn Bridge. No. The Bridge is a pedestrian path, and a bike path. You can have a SMALL group (a dozen?) stand briefly in one of the alcoves for a wedding, but you cannot use the bridge as a 'park' - it's for walking across the East River, really - and taking pictures.

Please see the discussion of Brooklyn Bridge Parks and DUMBO for other venues for mid-size groups with a view of the bridge. Cheers

Central Park in Spring - Locations for wedding ceremonies

Here are some of our favorite spots for weddings in City Parks. The ladies pavilion at Hernshead is the most popular, and is therefore best for a mid-week ceremony. It is quite small, and is really best for 6-8 people. It should be booked, see our article on park permits for weddings for information on how to book a space in a City Parks.
The Obelisk is behind the Metropolitan Museum. In the spring, it is approached through an avenue of cherry trees and is stunning. Ample parking in the Museum parking lot, so good for elderly guests. A short ways away is a nice lawn with a stone bench, also suitable for a standing wedding, and if you continue further up the path, you can reach the terrace below the Belvedere castle, which slopes down to the pool, and has a view of the castle.
The Belvedere Castle does not permit weddings, but it is possible to use the Shakespeare Garden below the castle, or to stand in the pergolas overlooking the Delacorte Shakespeare Theatre and the Turtle Pond. Here are the two little covered pergolas (the castle is hidden between them). Remember that this is a tourist location, and it will be constantly busy on a warm weekend. And here is the Shakespeare Garden, which has a nice sundial in the middle.

Other overlooked spots are: The Harlem Meer, The Loch, Cop Cot (be sure to book), parts of the Ramble overlooking the lake (now under reconstruction), and several of the little rustic shelters.

Don't forget the "other" park designed by Olmsted and Vaux! The vale of Kasmir is in Prospect Park, Brooklyn. It is isolated and quiet and absolutely magical. You can book some specified spots in Prospect Park, or just assemble with a small group under the trees, or by the lake. But avoid the beginning of May, which is the Cherry Blossom Festival in the Botanic Gardens - quite a mob!

You can also use community parks, community gardens, state parks, and a variety of public lands. See: Park Permits and locations and Getting Married in DUMBO.

What is the minimum requirement for a wedding ceremony?

We are asked this repeatedly, by couples who are eloping, or who just want to have a basic legal wedding ceremony, without any fuss. We've answered it in several places, but here is another rundown, just to be helpful.

To be legally married, you don't need the rings, the music, the bridesmaids, you need just 5 things:

1. The Statement - of the proper names of the persons who have come to be married, so we know we have the right people. ("We are gathered here for the wedding of [name] and [name]")

2. The Intention - "Are you, [name] here of your own free will, and do you intend to marry [name]. This is the "I do" that you answer individually, in front of witnesses, either 2, or 200 of them.

In the UK and a few other countries, you then say "Is there anyone present who has any reason why this couple may not lawfully be joined?" In most US States, this question is answered when you fill out your license, indicating the disposition of any prior marriages, divorces, etc. your age, and whether you are too closely related to be married. This means you do not have to repeat this question at a wedding ceremony.

3. The vow: "I [name] take you [name] to be my lawfully wedded husband/wife". You are speaking to your intended spouse, not to the minister, and not to the witnesses, as in step 2. You have turned to face each other, and this is your promise to become each other's legal partner.You may say this in your own words, and there are many variants.

4. The Signing: The officiant and the witness/es sign the license and date it (sometimes to the second, in a state where you have a waiting period). The Bride and Groom may sign as well, depending upon the license. They have already signed when they applied for the license.

5. The declaration: "In front of these witnesses, this couple has declared their intention to join their lives in marriage..and we now accept them as husband and wife".

Make sure your ceremony has these basic, minimal parts, and that your officiant is properly licensed, and that they file the license on time with the state issuing agency. Here are regulations for legal ceremonies for each state

If you are having a civil ceremony and planning another ceremony later, you can just do these 5 steps, and leave the rings and blessings till a second ceremony. Just add the procession, flowergirls, readings, blessings, candles, music, etc. and you have the full Monty wedding service.

How long is a wedding ceremony?

This is a frequent question, and I answered on it Yahoo Answers yesterday, with a bit of humour, I hope! Here's the basic answer, with the timings. You can use this info for an elopement, as well as a basic barebones wedding ceremony.

A basic civil ceremony is 7 minutes in City Hall, 13-18 minutes with an officiant, because it's the bridesmaids, music, prayers, mass, sermon, etc. which add the extra time to a wedding. I usually tell people they can have the "2 subway stop wedding" (8 minutes, if you're between 2 stops in New York), or the "3 stop" (15 minutes) or the "bus ride" (half an hour, cross-town traffic in NY). Anything longer, and people are starting to get hungry and fidget.

A basic ceremony consists of the following parts. (A legal ceremony can be held with 5 parts, the Statement of the names of the couple, the Intention, the Vows, the Signing and the Declaration).

THE GATHERING: (seating the guests, or gathering round on the beach/under a tree, etc.)
THE PROCESSION: (Bride and Groom and officiant walk to the front, 1 minute) OR the parents and the grandparents and the groom's party and the 15 bridesmaids and the junior bride and the junior bridesmaid and the 3 cute kids with the flower petals and FINALLY the bride walk into to music - this can take 15-20 minutes).
THE WELCOME, STATEMENT OF THE NAMES OF THE COUPLE WHO HAVE COME TO BE MARRIED: (1-3 minutes)
THE FAMILY BLESSING: (this used to be "who gives this woman to be married", but now it's usually a short request for the family to bless the wedding, mention of any absent family, lighting of candles or short moment of silence for anyone who has died). In an elopement or small private wedding, we might mention family or friends who are not present. (3 minutes, optional)
THE READINGS: (can be religious or poetry, or a piece of music. This is basically a break/transition and a good time to seat late guests) (2-4 minutes, optional)
THE INTENTION: "Is it your intention to take this person as your husband/wife"? (1 minute)
A SHORT STATEMENT ON MARRIAGE or the CHARGE TO THE COUPLE: ( 1-2 minutes). This is the part where the officiant states that this is not a barbecue, picnic, or engagement, but a marriage ceremony. Often includes a short reading.
VOWS: (1-2 minutes)
RING EXCHANGE/VOWS: (1-2 minutes). The ring exchange is optional.
BLESSING, 2nd READING, UNITY CANDLE, WINE BLESSING, SAND CEREMONY, etc. ; any one of several optional ceremonies to demonstrate the newly married state of the couple (optional 2-4 minutes))
PRONOUNCEMENT/DECLARATION: "In front of us all this couple have pledged their vows...and it is with the authority vested in me, that I declare they are man and wife." (30 seconds)
KISS: (length to be determined)
PRESENTATION: "I have the honor to present to you...) 15 seconds. Lots of clapping and excitement, (15 seconds).
RECESSIONAL: (reverse order, everybody goes out, taking as long as you like, but faster than the processional)
Add the SIGNING OF THE LICENSE: which can be done before the wedding, during the wedding (4 minutes) or after.
DECLARATION: (follows the signing, in which case the PRESENTATION is shortened, and the 2nd half of the sentence -- "By the authority invested in me.. I have the honor to present.." is used at this time.
TOTAL time: 14-18 minutes.

You can see examples of short civil ceremonies on our website, of course.

How to Elope in New York, step-by-step

Here is our most popular post. This information is for New York City. Note that "A Marriage License issued in New York City can be used anywhere within New York State but may not be used outside New York State."

For other counties, states, and Ontario, Canada see:
Other US State Marriage Regulations
Getting Married in Ontario, Canada)

HOW TO ELOPE IN NEW YORK CITY:

1. Find partner. Propose. Rinse and repeat.
2. Decide on Date and time, start thinking about location and rain location, if outdoors.
3. Find all your IDs (passport, drivers license, birth certificate, divorce papers if relevant, etc.)
4. Decide if either of you will change your name. See Surname options
5. Buy a $35 Money Order at a drugstore - cheaper than a bank. Update: You can now pay by credit card - according to the Marriage Bureau website.
6. Go to City Hall TOGETHER and apply for your marriage license (up to 60 days ahead, but not LESS than 24 hours ahead)See cityclerknyc.com.
If you are not a US citizen, make sure your home country accepts a regular New York City license, or whether you need to apply for an apostille (special certified license). Just phone your consulate. It is possible to return to the City Clerk's office after your marriage ceremony and obtain an apostille, for a small charge. You will have to visit two other offices in the Wall Street area to have the license certified. It's fairly painless, you can ask about the process when you apply for the license. This is ONLY possible if you have gotten your license at the MANHATTAN OFFICE at 1 Centre Street, however.
If you have been divorced or widowed, have documents and information regarding the previous marriage and spouse.
7. FIND A LEGALLY REGISTERED MARRIAGE OFFICIANT. Call City Hall with their license number to make sure they are registered: 212-669-2778. If you wish to be married at City Hall, make the arrangements when you apply for your license. If you would like to ask about our services, see weddingsofnewyork.com or write us at staff@weddingsofnewyork.com.
8. Choose your legal witness(es) (over age 18) or ask Marriage Officiant to secure a witness.
9. Buy a ring or two (or not - your choice)
10. Buy some flowers (or not - your choice, but nice :-)
11. Discuss your ceremony wishes with the officiant. You can usually ask for sample ceremonies, and discuss writing your own vows, or other personal touches.
12. 24 hours+ after #6, meet your officiant, exchange your vows, exchange your rings, pledge your lives into the others keeping. Kiss.
13. Sign the license. Witnesse(s) sign the license. Officiant signs license with official date and time.
14. The officiant will congratulate you, and take the license to copy and file it for you. It will be mailed back to you in 2-3 weeks.
[Note: if you need the license immediately, you must return to the Manhattan Marriage Bureau the next working day with the signed license, and they will check it and issue you a marriage license, for a fee. This is only possible if you apply for your license in Manhattan, at 1 Centre Street, and it is not an advertised service. They prefer to send the license by mail.]
15. Pop the champagne, and celebrate your new union!

Should you elope or have a big wedding - or both?

[Cross-posted from Wedding2point0.com, due to popularity of this question]

In ancient times, people got 'married' by the bride moving to the husband's house (or, of course, in some cultures, the reverse). Gifts were exchanged, cattle and clothing and bread and food. The community understood that this was a family unit.

Later, a civil or religious officiant would legalize/ solemnize/ bless the marriage, by conducting some sort of rite. In the middle ages, a traveling priest might come by the village and marry everyone in the spring, and baptize all the new babies, all at the same time.

In Celtic areas, the couple might be handfasted for a year and a day, and then decide to become legally married at the end of that time. The traditions of the Jewish ketubah, or the Quaker marriage certificate and other ceremonies which involve the guests and parents signing a ceremonial document are related the traditions of how the community views the moral and legal obligations of the couple toward each other.

In Jewish tradition, a couple usually signs the ketubah before the ceremony. The ketubah is written in Aramaic, and the bride and groom write their Hebrew names in the blanks in the marriage contract, then the rabbi signs the contract. Modern Ketubahs may have English decorations, and many are unique works of art. Some have spaces for the family and witnesses to sign at the reception.

In Quaker tradition, the bride and groom sign a large, beautiful Marriage Certificate, which is then also signed by all the family and guests. This involves the community, and makes the marriage binding to each of its witnesses as well as to the couple. The certificate is usually framed and placed in the home.

The LEGAL part of a marriage ceremony does not require the community to be there - or the parents, or the friends. A witness will do - but that witness is 'representing' the community, and civil society. When couples choose to be legally married in an 'elopement', they often have a wedding ceremony or a wedding blessing or a family party later. Sometimes this is for practical reasons, such as visas running out, or travel, or scattered family members, so a couple will have two ceremonies on different continents - one legal, one ceremonial. Sometimes this is done on the same day in a second marriage, such as the wedding of Prince Charles and Camilla, which was a civil ceremony followed by a service of blessing.

A couple may have a private wedding for personal reasons, with a marriage announcement at a later date. And some couples pledge their troth to each other in a commitment ceremony, without a legal component, just an ethical one. Some have handfasting (or betrothal) ceremonies which they consider binding. A vow renewal is an example of a wedding ceremony without a legal ceremony, as well.

If you are having two ceremonies, a legal, private wedding and a future wedding blessing with a larger group of friends or family, you can save your rings for the second ceremony, perhaps, and have a Wedding Blessing and a Blessing of Rings for your second ceremony. Your family might also like to participate in the second Wedding Blessing, offering readings or blessings or a candle-lighting or other appropriate rituals.

Some cultural traditions also have several separate ceremonies on several days. Some of these ceremonies are vestiges of earlier village rituals, where the bride or groom makes a journey to the house of the new relatives, and offers food or gifts (such as the Tea Ceremony, in some Asian cultures, and the large Wedding Banquet with the required special courses.) The modern wedding showers and rehearsal dinners are vestiges of these earlier rituals.

Our grandparents were often married at home, or went off to the registry office to be married in a bigger city, and returned home for the wedding reception. Our modern elaborate weddings are not as old a tradition as they sometimes seem.

This is YOUR decision. You can combine the legal and the ceremonial events, or hold them separately,and at separate times, or hold only one part - the legal wedding or the wedding ceremony. Your officiant will always be happy to discuss these variations with you, and help you through the planning for each.

Marriage License - New York

The good news: You can obtain a license at any office of the city clerk in New York.

The important stuff: You need to get your license 24 hours in advance of a legal wedding. The license will be stamped to the MINUTE, and you cannot be legally married until 24 hours have expired. Also, the offices close at 3:45 (ish) on Friday.

ADVICE: plan your arrival so you have at least one day to get the license, and decide on the location. Here is the link to the city clerk's office, and the marriage license borough, with phone numbers and addresses. There is an office in each borough, and you may use any of them.
http://www.cityclerknyc.com

The fee is $35US, payable by money order ONLY to the City Clerk of New York. It is important to have purchased the MO in advance, or you will have to leave the building, go through security again, and it is very tedious.

You will need 2 forms of ID, with picture and address, and a passport is acceptable. If either of you has been married previously, you need to bring official documents listing the decrees of settlement. You will be asked about any previous marriages, and asked to indicate how the marriage was dissolved (divorce, against whom, death, etc.), and the location of the former spouse.

You will also be asked to prove who you are, where you live, and asked for the birthplace of your parents.

It may take a deal of time at the Manhattan office, which is extremely crowded, and especially so on Fridays. So going early in the day is recommended. You will need at least one witness over 18 for the ceremony, but not to apply for the license. For elopements, many officiants have a photographer or an assistant who will serve as your legal witness.
[Brooklyn is quicker, and easier, and only 2 subway stops away. We like the Brooklyn office. But if you want to take your license BACK to the office on the next working day after the wedding to get your license immediately, instead of waiting for it to come in the mail, you must ONLY apply at the Manhattan office]

Catering an elopement ceremony

You have to eat - so why not include a wedding picnic at your elopement ceremony? In the spring and summer, you can bring a picnic to your wedding in Central Park, or the Brooklyn Promenade, or Coney Island (beware the sand in the sandwiches when the wind is up, though - you might prefer to eat at Nathan's Hot Dogs, or wander toward Manhattan Beach and eat at one of the Russian cafes on the beach, like Tatiana's). A split of champagne and some edible flowers for the cheesecake and you're all set.

New York is a city of delis and speciality takeouts. Almost any restaurant will make you a special lunch to go. You could order a bento box, thai, blintzes and caviare, crab and guava empanadas, all from around Central Park. You could get rustic sandwiches on an artisanal baguette from Le Pain Quotidienne, on 5th avenue, but they might be a little too rustic and messy. There are upscale takeout stores around the park, Payard's French patisserie on the East side, the famous Zabar's and Eli's Bread at 80th and 3rd. Zabars is famous for fancy gift baskets - including their i